Aßlar – September 13, 2026 -- Relationship coaches Jonathan Makkonen and Janine Förster argue that a respectful breakup starts long before any divorce paperwork is filed, not after it. The pair, founders of coaching practice Das Relationship, say the decisions couples make during a healthy relationship determine whether a later separation turns into years of conflict or a manageable transition.
Parenting duties continue even when the couple relationship ends
Makkonen and Förster note that when children are involved, the end of a romantic partnership does not end shared responsibility. Former partners become what the coaches call an 'parent team,' still required to make joint decisions about their kids after the relationship itself is over.Children internalize attacks on either parent as attacks on themselves
Drawing on attachment-based theory, the coaches explain that children carry both parents within their sense of identity. When one parent is repeatedly criticized or attacked, children often experience it as a conflict inside themselves, torn between loyalty to both sides.The coaches stress that children should never be used as messengers, confidants, or judges between separated parents. Adults, they say, need their own outlets for anger or grief rather than transferring those emotions onto the next generation.
Prenuptial agreements can prevent disputes over money and property
While emotional conflict cannot be solved through paperwork, Makkonen and Förster point out that clear financial and legal agreements reduce the potential for disputes, especially when assets, real estate, or shared financial obligations are involved.A prenuptial agreement is often seen as a sign of distrust, the coaches say, but couples who discuss finances openly while still together frequently avoid drawn-out legal battles if they later separate. That, they argue, leaves more room to focus on co-parenting rather than litigation.